Encouraged to forget that behind our titanium shellsthere is a body, that we are something other than the shells and thesystems they are hooked up to.But I'm ... a little different.Because besides all the other things I had wrong with my body, I had onenobody could see at the time.My body, as twisted as it was, is male, and my soul, my sense of self,however you want to say it, is female.And there's nothing I can do about it.So I keep busy and try not to think about itDoesn't always work.But I keep going anyway.Up until a short time ago, I've never told anybody about my problem. I'vealways been afraid they would decide I'm so broken I can't be trustedwith my job.But recently I managed to find someone I could trust to talk to.Helva, "the ship who sings" herself.I cant even describe how much of a relief it is to talk to someone aboutthis.It all happened a week ago ...Helva had arrived at my city's spaceport, and once the day's bustleslowed down, I risked having a conversation with her. All I said was that, after I died, I wanted to be cremated. Do you think the two of us being planted side by side in the ground meant that we'd always be together? When you're dead, the body is just an empty bag. I don't care for being food for the insects and the worms. I'd rather have a quick cremation and be done with the whole decomposing business. Plus, it's a lot cheaper than all that other rigmarole anyway." We'll be dead, what do you care about the money then anyway, Charlie? I'd like a nice funeral, one with all the trimmings, so that people would have a chance to say a decent goodbye. I'd like to pick a nice place for us to spend eternity. A place where the kids could come by and visit with us. I've even done all of the groundwork on this, Charlie. We can both have the funerals that I wanted for us, and it comes to less than fifty thousand dollars if we prepay now." You talk to that Carl Cheaney about this? It sounds like something he'd come up with. Did you know that Donna.
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